Town comes to life at Pudding Launch

By Herman "The Helmut" Helium

It may be cold outside, but the annual January Tapioca Pudding Launch goes on, in rain and cold or dark of night.

The launch has been a family even for over fifty years.

Townpersons attempt to make boats, or any type of container, out of thickened tapioca pudding and float on it down the Llama's River.

As the old tale went, a town founder named Ernest Buttleswad was the first to float down Llama's River in a boat made from pudding. At that time the setting was different than today's lighthearted fun. Buttleswad was attempting an escape from a cave filled with rabid apes mating with sea lions, and the only thing he was able to do was mix together instant pudding mix with milk and water. As legend has it, the river's current took him to Bigot's Peak where he was able to dock what was left of his pudding paddles and boat. That is why today children are urged to create pudding boats and see if they can, as Buttleswad did so many years ago, get to Bigot's Peak without tragic disaster or rip currents taking them further down into the dangerous Sterilization Stream. Some families have even kept the tradition of purchasing rabid apes and locking their children in a room with them, leaving only a vat of milk and a large packet of instant tapioca pudding mix.

This year's launch drew a crowd of 21 people.

Along with the launch is a craft fair in which Greece's government bonds are given as prizes for the best pair of straw underpants. A dinner of LlaMeat is also served to the contestants of the boat launch.

Another annual tradition continued with Mama Llama telling children of old tales of Bellicose history.

Also on hand, Bellicose Junction mascot 'Clean Jean Oakerland' to give parents and children a much needed lesson on how to properly clean hair. A recent spate of head lice has paralyzed parts of the town.

To all who were there, we were happy to see you. And sorry to little Jane Merange, who was taken by the current to a nearby town where she is being raised by sheep. A search team is on the way to find you!

Mr. Helium is a volunteer with the annual pudding launch and resides in the Nippletucks village of Bellicose Junction