Tata joins Largent for annual Global Warming celebration

An artist used blue pen for a graphic representation of yesterday's events

The 123th annual Global Warming Day took place at the Lla Energia plant in Belliscose Junction yesterday. Mayor Poppy Largent was flanked by members of the Energia plant, along with Arch Biesbo Desmond Tata. The event has been heralded as a success yet again.

Tata addressed the crowd of Bellicosians concerning the success of global warming. Tata said, "It's my pleasure to be able to be here today and tell you, once again, global warming has destroyed more lives and upended more land." Tata thanked Lla Energia's CEO, D. Erthy Mann, for his "years of service to destroying the planet earth and inflaming people's livers with questionably processed byproducts of 20th century energy technology."

The event began with the "flaming of the torch" march through Bellicose Junction's main street, Apple Eye. Traditionally, the person who was most affected by earth changes over the past year leads the procession. For the 96th time, Old Man Whipple was the front of the pack, boasting the most heartache from natural disasters yet again in 2013. Whipple's cottage was decimated by simultaneous earth changes on June 10, 2013, when a tornado struck the front portion of his abode while a lightning bolt set fire to his outhouse and clothes line. At the same time, a small 1.3 magnitude earthquake was felt on the fault line that lays directly below the property where his cottage once was, although officials did not relate the quake to global changes.

In years past, Hank's Family Deli was used for the dinner, but with a massive wildfire taking out Hank's bar in 2012, another venue had to be chosen. A dinner of Lla Meat was served at the exclusive Lla Meaty restaurant, and a private party was thrown in the Mayor's residence. A truck delivering servants from the Philippines arrived at 7pm to tend to the party goers needs.

The Mayor ended the day's festivities with an address to Bellicose Junction residents. Largent said, "People of the junction, it's time to cut as many trees down and burn as many fossil fuels in our small community as we can in 2014! It's time to turn the future into a heated cauldron of acid rain and waste!" After a brief applause, the final tradition took place: The Mangling of the Dove. Largent and Tata allowed a dove to go free from a cage--the dove had clipped wings and was not able to get off the ground. It suffered a brutal end for the hundreds applauding as it was devoured by a wolf.