A Bellicose Junction man found himself on the wrong side of a pair of testicles the weekend.
Francis Fennypak was walking along 4th St by Obnoxious Lake when a truck driven by Clyde Bartholomew dropped its pair of low hanging brass testicles attached to the bumper. The truck's driver didn't realize the vehicles appendages fell due to a large Confederate flag draped across the back window.
Cops say that Fennypak would have been injured, but luckily was wearing a protective radioactivity-preventative shirt.
When asked if the brass testicles were radioactive, cops said 'no,' but also reminded Bellicosians that the LlaRadioactivity company's gear could make all dangerous situations safer.
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