Bellicose Junction Mayor Poppy Largent's office today released a statement on recent developments in Bellicose Junction. Over the past several weeks, there have been 16 different incidents of llama beatings throughout the city, along with at least 2 reported llama kills.
The Mayor said, "While I do not perceive to know what the life of a llama may be like, I contend that the life of a llama live is much better for Bellicose Junction, than the life of a llama absent a life. Or dead."
The Mayor was deluged with questions during a recent brunch at the Transhuman Combination club, a monthly meeting of half-sized human beings that thirst to live life as giants.
Bellicose Junction police chief Zookie Schwanson recently called the rash of llama crimes "a plague on the llama population." Schwanson even went as far as calling for Harley Davidson bike riders and satanists to bind together to hunt down members of the Amish community who the police have pinpointed as the main culprits in recent crimes.
Schwanson's blame of the Amish has been due to evidence at crime scenes, including butter-soaked windows on homes, large beard hairs at the crime scene, and notes at crime scenes saying "The Amish, like me, did this crime!"
The Mayor told the Transhuman club Friday that the Amish are attempting to sell llama hide and teeth on the black market for quick cash.
The Mayor said, "The economy is tremendously bad. I even had to give up 2 meals a day because of my finances. But that is no reason for anyone to take the lives of innocent llamas in Bellicose Junction."
The Llama Defense League has urged the Mayor to speak out on the affairs.
Defense League Chairman Micheangelo Hunt told this website, "I'm happy with Mayor Largent's words, but we need actions." The Defense League has started night watch programs headed by LlaEnergia plant manager Chuck Manson. Hunt finished, "It's my hope that the Mayor cracks down on the Amish, but I doubt it with since they donated all the homemade wooden signs to his campaign in the year 2010."
At press time, official llama spokesllama Mama Llama could not be reached for comment.
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