When good eggs go bad: Easter turns violent at Church egg making building

Bowls of heated chocolate were left overturned and peanut butter was smeared across the walls in the basement of the Jesus Christ Almighty Church on West Evander Holyfield Highway today.

News tips to my website and calls to sources confirmed: There was a brutal fight that took place among the twelve elderly women who make their traditional Easter Eggs in that building. Those twelve women have been known as the Yolk Disciples, often working up to 18 hours a day without a break during the Lenten season. They pump eggs out like no other group. The Pastor often uses forcible methods to keep them from exiting the building. Last year, a complaint was filed with the Not Really Better Business Dresser that a large amount of hair and fragments of an autographed photo of Bob Saget were found in customers' eggs.

For years, this haphazard group has been a powder keg, giving off sparks.
Those sparks have now exploded with a chocolate brawl: The big Easter Egg Extravaganza of 2014.

I am still working on the details, trying to sort it all, and separate the coconuts from the cherries, but I do know this:  The war of the melted chocolate began early in the day when one of the women, name withheld for privacy (I think it was Anita Cakeball), became irritated at another again nameless woman, (I think Hinkle Blowack's mother, Sylvia) after she finger-tested hot chocolate without gloves.

Immediately others becomes embroiled in a heated exchange as they heated their chocolate. Included i the verbal duke:  Father Anime Claymation, who become attempted to intervene when Cakeball pushed Mrs. Blowack's face directly into the pot of warm peanut butter. There were no injuries, but a sudden brawl took place. Bodies jiggling and breasts sagging in the wind.

It reportedly was a mess.

The janitor of the building, NATE, told me, "It was messy, buddy." He went on, "it was really messy, and I had to clean the mess. There was a mess."

I went to the site to photograph the scene--there was Bellicose police tape surrounding the Jesus Christ Almighty rectory. However, NATE sneaked into the building to make the door ajar in order for me to snap a shot. NATE said, "Look a the mess. It's a mess. A big mess, buddy," as he lighty pushed open the door. I saw chocolate all over the walls.. I also saw one woman sitting with a bowl of some sort of chocolate apparatus over her head.

Also apparent: A hand print of peanut butter on the wall behind her. Some say they don't see the hand print. Others say it is a hoax. But a few claim that the print will stay there forever and cannot be removed, even with soap and water. It's a permanent reminder of the peanut butter massacre that took place here.

Below is a graphic representation of what my photograph showed:

I will continue to follow up on this Cherry and Coconut Caper.